Its about that time...

Changes need to be made and I know that. But still I procrastinate and remain unhappy with all the negativity and immutable things in my life. I have to give myself credit though. I have started the process but you can say that I am now at a plateau. January 3, 2009 was one of the most remarkable and most lucrative decisions I have ever made. I was baptized as a Seventh day Adventist. So proud of the relationship that I have created with my lord and savior. Unfortunately I have not heeded to that relationship, among other things that are not as important as God. Small things that create a small door for the devil to play with my heart and forget this journey that I am on and the importance of staying on the right path. It was easy to give up the jewelry, observing and keeping the sabbath, going to bible studies and church events, going to church all day Saturday (lol), but those were not the important things. It was my lack of reading the word and neglecting my studies. Eating shellfish knowing that I would repent later and God would forgive me. Being in places where I know I no longer belonged since I made this so called transformation. The important things are the ones that I have not changed about myself to really consider this transformation a success. You see I love music and music can be the most dangerous vices that can work against you. The right song can arouse you sexually, make you made, happy, sad or even do something out of the ordinary! Knowing this I know i should be cautious of what I listen to and what I think I am relating to in "my favorite" song.

I know my biggest struggle are relationships that I have ended and no longer care to mend. God teaches us to love our neighbors like we love ourselves and I have yet to forgive them in my heart. The very thing I flounder with is finding a place for people I have already dismissed out of my life. A very cold thing actually. Maybe by writing this, I will be able to tackle these obstacles in my life and not allow for time to run out on me. So its about that time that I take these matters and handle them. A dedication to myself to keep going and strengthen my defense against the one that wants to keep me down! Yes its about that time, starting with now and not later or tomorrow.......