Sunday, December 20, 2009


Its been a long time since I last blogged! Not that I don't have anything to say all of sudden but I've been that busy!!! My life lately has been consumed with work and that has been stressing me to the max.... I remember when I was in college and all I worried about was my next paper and what everyone was up to in the student lounge! I would love to be back to being carefree and just stress less. Nowadays all I'm concerned with is foreclosure packages, financial solutions and debt consolidation! UUUUggghhh, trust me no one wants to deal with the procedures, paper and the clients all together.
 All in all I am grateful in one aspect is that no matter how stress I've been, God has still been a force in my life. Time and time again he just comes through and showes his mercy! Can I get an Amen on that!

Friday, August 28, 2009

Is this really me???

Congratulations, YVRANTZ, you are a RED personality. The Core Motivation that drives you through life is "Power". Power means the ability to get things done, to go from A to B as quickly and directly as possible. The word power was derived from the Old French poeir meaning "to be able." Often what is perceived by the other colors as insensitive is simply a pragmatic sense of urgency to accomplish a given task.
As a RED you naturally seek productivity and want others to see you as intellectually strong. As REDS want their own way, you like to be in the driver's seat and are willing to pay the price to be in a leadership role even in an intimate relationship. However, you can get frustrated when your partner cannot think for himself or make intelligent decisions on his own. As a RED, you tend to value whatever gets you ahead in life, whether it is at work, school, or in your personal relationships. What you value, you get done. You may be a workaholic and enjoy it!. You will, however, resist being forced to do anything that doesn't interest you.
As a RED, YVRANTZ, you like to be right. You value approval from others for your intelligence and solution-based, pragmatic style. You want to be respected even more than you want to be loved, and you appreciate admiration for your logical, practical mind.

So I took a personality test called the color code. It basically asked me questions all about my childhood and from my young adult life. What do you think? Is this me as you know it???

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Learning To Move On

There is a time for everything in life. A time to live and to die! In between that time we love, experiment, we gain and lose things! Its a always changing and how do we embrace these changes and how open are we to season as they change? I find that it is so easy to get attached to the good things in life so it is hard for us to let go when its time has come and ended. A heart desire can surpass the reality of the mind and cause an internal battle in decisions and conflicts. I have that issue because my heart speak so loud that I cannot think! My heart usually wins and then my heart gets broken and a whole chain of events follow...

Learning to know when its time to move on is a choice within itself. I have loved this man for so long! Two and half years to be exact. Nothing has changed these feeling! Not his departure from our relationship, lies, disregard for my feelings or the simple fact that he has moved on and is in a new relationship. I have been waiting for time to erase him from my heart but my heart is stubborn and cannot let go of the feeling and my mind is stuck on the memories of the past. At this moment, this very second my hurt is growing colder and the light is dimming as my mind takes over and reality sets in. I have learned many things and this is the very reason why people come into our lives. To teach us and to help us grow whether their presence was a positive or negative one. Women do understand that if man wants to be with you nothing can stop him from doing so and like wise if a man does not want to be with you then nothing I mean nothing can/will make him! Not having his child, lying, deception or anything else that the devil can encourage you with. Just let go and let God.

Now I wonder if true love exist and if my soul mate is out there. Sometimes we, I am so sure that this man is the one for me but God has someone else in mind for me and you. The irony of the situation is that we never let go of the past and the things that are no longer relevant to us so we miss what the future holds. Life is about change, unfairness, trials and tribulations. Life is also about love, friendship, family, children, and all the things that support us. Learn with me as I understand that I have to embrace the bad with open arms like I embrace the good. Smile through the obstacles and prevail through this so called life. This is not something that is easy and can be done alone. I need God to show me the way, I need Jesus to show me the salvation in the end, I need my Father God to hold and carry me when I can't and in the end only he has the unconditional love for me that not even I have for him.

A sadden heart is a dangerous heart! A feeling that can compromise the heart into doing actions that are not good for the body or soul. Ask him (God) for strength and for joy! You see happiness comes and goes and is unstable like the blows but Joy from God is everlasting! But we so frail seek happiness and temporary things and so therefor we are easily disappointed, easily fall and lose sight of our purpose! I have lost the sight of that and cannot repair my heart alone! Its already colder than before and I have less hope in man and less desire to love another man and that man. Circumstances has changed my views and I am moving on. I am not alone, although I forgot about my ultimate provider, comforter and friend. He has never left my side and for that I have to put my whole being in never forgetting him.

Moving on is not an easy process but a necessary one and the wise know this. So as I embrace this aspect of change and leading with my mind and not heart we shall see where this journey ends.......

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

A letter in regards to Black Men Dating White Women!

I’m sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don’t understand a lot of Black female’s attitudes about…
… our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said, they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage. Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don’t they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we’re out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us, Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes… I could go on and on. But, right now, I’m a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don’t be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I’m wrong, Black men, let me know.

Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA

Now peep this intelligent brother’s response…

I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl. Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy.
The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls. Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women.

Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spotlight, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few.

I just don’t want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed. Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt,
you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history! It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery.

It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise! It is because of the black women’s strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women.

I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don’t you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous?

I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has. BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.

No offense taken, none given.

Signed, Black Royalty

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Free Style

Just want to write down my thoughts..... Nothing in particular and no real title.....

Where do I start? Life has been so insane lately, with all the changes that I'm making. All in effort to better myself. I have been trying to find myself the last two years. Not that I was going through identity crisis but it was an end of a very significant relationship and when it was over I was unhappy and lonely. So many emotions ran through me and I need to change because I wasn't satisfied with myself anymore. I knew that to ever be in another relationship, that I needed to figure out what makes me happy, my needs, wants and what I could offer to another person.
So I went natural and cut off all my hair that was once past my shoulders and sworn off relaxers and any chemicals. I switched religions (decision that is much more than an ended relationship), I let go of some unhealthy friends, moved to a new place, and just refreshed myself. After all of theses changes I can say that I'm much happier especially spiritually. Life is so full of ups and downs! These past few years I've experienced more downs that anything else but I understand that God has a plan for me and I hold a purpose....
I have a greater understanding of basic self-worth. No one can love you more than you love your-self regardless of you faults and insecurities. I know what I want and I'm not willing to settle for anything less. That means in all aspects of my life. Friends, potential boyfriends and all must fit the goals and aspirations that I have for myself. I want a man that will be open, honest, respectful, be a christian and educated! I want friends that will support me, help to guide me and are on the same level as me relatively financial, spiritually and mentally. The path that I am on will lead into endless positive possibilities and hopefully, wealth and an outstanding reputation...
So I want all of this from other people and you must be thinking, then what do you have to offer me. I have always been a blunt and honest person and I will continue to be that way. I am also a great listener, objective, supportive. Lastly, because I can stand on my own two feet, I can help you stand if you ever needed the help. I have been granted peace, peace when faced with adversity and peace through all obstacles!
With that said I do not partake in drama or he/she say. I do not engage in childish games and I never have a problem confronting my aggressors. Life is so short, so why indulge in such juvenile things that I honestly believe to take years off your life and that bring nothing but stress and negativity. I feel that I am satisfied with this blog and that's just what I was thinking and feeling tonight...... Respect!